Something that I see all too often is women reaching for goals and fulfillment to only find out that they don’t actually want what they are striving for. It happens so often because so many of us don’t dig deep enough into our ‘why’ and core feelings to find out what we truly love, desire, hate, and what truly gives us passion and fire in every day life. We spend too much time seeing what others are doing and achieving and aligning our goals and life to match those who came before us. The only way you are going to fill your purpose is to figure out what you are passionate about.
Instead of striving to follow in others footsteps, strive to make your own.
Nothing is more discouraging than putting forth so much effort and time into planning goals, setting milestones, and working towards success to find out that your hard work was for nothing because you actually don’t want what you’re aiming for. When setting your goals and intention, make sure they are your own and not the influence of other people. We can be easily conditioned to think we want what others have when in reality our soul craves for something completely different.This is why finding your ‘why’ and your drivers is the damn most important step in goal setting.
And this all starts with asking yourself ‘why’.
Throughout your life you always have great joys and things you are drawn to that fill your heart and fuel a fire. There may be aspects to your lackluster job that you truly enjoy and feel happy in. There may be a feeling that you desire to have throughout your life, and you want to chase that feeling so fast and so much that you’ll do anything that gives you more of it. It all starts with asking yourself why, and then asking yourself why again and again until you figure out why you love doing something so damn much.
- Why is it that your favorite time of the week is your weekly team meetings?
- Is it because it is the one time of the week that everyone is encouraged to share their knowledge and skills with one another?
- But why, why do you feel so called to make time for these meetings and to create materials to share with your team?
- Because maybe, just maybe, you find such great joy in bringing your knowledge to the table and helping develop others into who they want to be.
- And maybe you enjoy that so much because it makes you feel like the women you admire the most, and the legacy you want to leave.
This kind of analysis is called a 5 Why Analysis and is commonly used to find the root cause of why an error or mistake is occurring in a process, but it works phenomenally in helping your start finding the root cause of your passions and joy. Some folks find they can find their core joy and passion in less than 5 why’s, and some find it takes more than 5, all that matters is that you get there. Take time consistently with yourself to sit down and seek out what bring you happiness and what feels right to you, find the silver lining in the position you loathe and ask yourself why those things make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and then keep asking yourself why again and again until you discover what makes you feel fulfilled and strong and joyful and all the feeeeeeels and keep going for that thing for forever.
Find your why, then find your next steps.